In a recent interview on the “Balanced Black Girl” podcast, actress Gabrielle Union discussed the evolution of her and husband Dwyane Wade’s financial dynamics. Previously, Union had advocated for a strict 50/50 split in all aspects of their relationship, including finances. She now acknowledges that this approach stemmed from past traumas and a desire for control.
Gabrielle Union Reevaluating the 50/50 Approach
Union admitted that her earlier stance on splitting everything equally was a “trauma response.” She explained, “I famously said, ’50/50 or bust,’ and I meant that financially, spiritually, and emotionally.” However, she has come to realize that such rigidity doesn’t always align with the realities of a partnership. “There are days I have 10%, and I need him to be 90%. There are days I don’t have sh**, and I need him to be 100%,” she confessed.
This shift in perspective emerged as Union delved deeper into understanding her behaviors and their origins. She revealed that her insistence on splitting everything equally was rooted in a need to maintain control, a common coping mechanism for those who have experienced trauma. “50/50 is, ‘I’m not going to be vulnerable enough to trust you with 100% of anything. Not my heart, not my cash,’” she elaborated.
Embracing Vulnerability in Marriage
Union’s journey toward embracing vulnerability hasn’t been without challenges. She recounted a moment when Wade offered to take on more financial responsibility, specifically suggesting he handle their mortgage payments. The proposition triggered intense anxiety for Union. “I thought I was about to die. I had such anxiety. I was crying. I was shaking,” she recalled. Wade reminded her that she had initially insisted on the 50/50 arrangement, thinking it made her feel better. Union responded, “It did, and right now I want to take it back.”
This experience highlighted the deeper issues at play, beyond just financial matters. Union recognized that relinquishing control and allowing herself to be vulnerable were significant hurdles. She shared, “It was less about the money and more about relinquishing control and being vulnerable—which was something I hated.”
Despite these challenges, Union believes that embracing vulnerability has strengthened their marriage. She expressed, “It’s being vulnerable enough to be open enough to know that I’m okay. I’m okay as his wife. He’s okay as my husband. I’m okay in this family. I’m okay in this home. I deserve it.” This newfound openness has allowed her to expand her notions of what vulnerability can look like within a partnership.
Union’s candid reflections offer valuable insights into the complexities of marital dynamics and personal growth. Her journey underscores the importance of adaptability, trust, and vulnerability in fostering a healthy and supportive relationship.